Nobody is at home, wanted to go out but I couldn't get myself out after the news came to me.

One of the happiest thing that I have, I tot it will always be with me, but came out to be not realli so.

Last yr, the 1st time i realised something is not always there with us. I miss the past when all relatives gather together at Grandma's hse in Malaysia. But due to grandma's operation, last yr lunar new yr was quiet.

I was realli looking forward for this coming lunar new yr and going back to Malaysia to meet up with my cousins.

But.. i doubt thing can be the same anymore.

I can never imagine such thing will happen to the ppl ard me. It's not abt u want to live and you can.

I couldn't stop crying whenever i see a photo pasting on the wall besides my computer desk. A photo of all my cousins which are ard 30 of us. I could not imagine how life is gonna be seeing one of us leave this world. and really very upset to say, it might be.

He's laying in the hospital with just 10% chances of living after motorbike accident and no one knows the cause of accident yet. My heart is really pain, hearing my cousin (Sis of that cousin) crying badly that she wants her brother back, she wants miracle!

Life is actually not about just u alone. cos just like now, if something happens, it's the people ard u emotional suffering and weeping over it.

I don't know what else to say, utterly lost of word.

I regretted not going back to Malaysia just becos i have to work, but now no one can bring me there already. Neither did i know that it's that serious. I felt remorseful and it's not good stay at home alone too, with such worries running thru my mind. I can't get my mind in peace, kept thinking abt is my cousin alright. I'm in fear to call for updates, i just afraid to take more bad news as the situation is already very bad right now.

I wanted to find him to tok to me but he's away.
However was grateful that someone call me out for movie, maybe i should just go rather to continue to stay at home.