I had a conversation with my mum:


"Mum, I really wan to continue my studies! I got one friend that I heard who is going Australia. That's what I always want!"


My mum replied: "what's the point studying so much whereby in the end you're going to get married!"


"When did I say I want to get married?! No, I don't want. That's y I need to study more so that in future I can earn more and able to support myself better."


My Mum was not stunned at all, guess she expected this is what I want. Instead, she was convinced by me to give me some support for my further studies plan.


Well after saying so much, I just wanted to comment that I do agreed that if anyone going any higher education, then don't put the knowledge at waste. Irregardless of staying singlehood or what, just don't waste it!


Yes, the conservation ended without any conclusion. I'm puzzled and confused still.
But sometimes my mum do dropped some words of gold. She commented "Don't be so confused! If you continue being like this, that's not life. You enjoy nothing instead!"


Actually I'm feeling life meaningless especially when you got some dream and you are unable to attain. Everynight i don't want to sleep cos' i'm too afraid to waste more time. That's y every night i couldn't get into sleep. I have been forcing myself to sleep for the sake of having next day to wake up early for work. I need a break or rather some motivation. i hate being so stupid. I'm really stupid :( there's just some fustration in me for acting things not in a smart way. or thinking things simple is my source of everything?! am i having depression?! i doubt so. I still far from depression cos' i still know how to let things out.. no worry (^_^)